INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES AND ARTICLES
ON this page, you are afforded the opportunity to read some inspirational quotes and articles from various individuals of substance all over the world.
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God gave us two ends. One to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use; head you win--tails, you lose.- Anonymous
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From the scriptures
"However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.
"He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. "All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you. (John 16:13-15; NKJ)
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No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo
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Martin Luther King Jr.
A man who has not discovered what to die for is not worth living.
SUCCESS
A man who works with his hands is a laborer; a man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman; but a man who works with his hands and his brain and his heart is an artist. - Louis Nizer
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. - Henry Ford
I believe the true road to preeminent success in any line is to make yourself the master of that line. - Andrew Carnegie
Experience shows that success is due less to ability than to zeal. The winner is he who gives himself to his work, body and soul. - Charles Buxton
Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day, and you are a success. - William J.H. Boetcker
The line between failure and success is so fine that we scarcely know when we pass it - so fine that we often are on the line and do not know it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The successful people are the ones who can think up stuff for the rest of the world to keep busy at. - Donald Marquis
The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of work. - Sarah Bolton
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success. Talent is only a starting point in business. You've got to keep working that talent. - Irving Berlin
We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
If you have nothing else to do, look about you and see if there isn't something close at hand that you can improve! It may make you wealthy, thought it is more likely that it will make you happy. - George Matthew Adams
If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view – as well as your own. - Henry Ford
People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. - Dale Carnegie
Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? - Frank Scully
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. - Thomas Edison
Success is never wondering what if. - Karrie Huffman
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. - Bishop W.C. Magee
He has achieved success who has worked well, laughed often, and loved much. - Elbert Hubbard
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THOMAS JEFFERSON
I steer my bark with hope in the head, leaving fear astern. - Thomas Jefferson
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. - Thomas Jefferson
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. - Thomas Jefferson
Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life. - Thomas Jefferson
If we can prevent the Government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them, they must become happy. - Thomas Jefferson
Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits. - Thomas Jefferson
It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation, which give happiness. - Thomas Jefferson
The most valuable of talents is that of never using two words when one will do. - Thomas Jefferson
If the happiness of the mass of mankind can be secured at the expense of a little tempest now and then, or even of a little blood, it will be a precious purchase. - Thomas Jefferson
Difference of opinion is helpful in religion. - Thomas Jefferson
The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus by the Supreme Being in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. - Thomas Jefferson
It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read. - Thomas Jefferson
But though I am an old man, I am but a young gardener. {letter to Charles Willson Peale, Aug. 20, 1811} - Thomas Jefferson
No person will have the occasion to complain of the want of time, who never loses any. - Thomas Jefferson
I have never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as a cause for withdrawing from a friendship. - Thomas Jefferson
When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred. - Thomas Jefferson
Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them. - Thomas Jefferson
We are destined to be a barrier against the return of ignorance and barbarism. Old Europe will have to lean on our shoulders, and to hobble along by our side, under the monkish trammels of priests and kings, as she can. What a colossus shall we be when the southern continent comes up to our mark! What a stand will it seem as a ralliance for the reason and freedom of the globe! (letter to John Adams, August 1, 1816) - Thomas Jefferson
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain cool and unruffled under all circumstances. - Thomas Jefferson
...it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg. - Thomas Jefferson
No man has a natural right to commit aggression on the natural rights of another; and this is all from which the laws ought to restrain him. - Thomas Jefferson
The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is the best. - Thomas Jefferson
I cannot live without books. - Thomas Jefferson
I have ever judged of the religion of others by their lives. For it is in our lives, and not from our works, that our religion must be read. - Thomas Jefferson
I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others. - Thomas Jefferson
It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself. - Thomas Jefferson
Man is a rational animal, endowed by nature with rights and with an innate sense of justice. - Thomas Jefferson
Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it. - Thomas Jefferson
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson
Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should "make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," thus building a wall of separation between Church and State. - Thomas Jefferson, letter to Connecticut Baptists
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JOKES UNLIMITED
What's the difference between bin Laden and Aladdin?
Aladdin had 3 wishes and bin Laden only has 1 - a death wish.
- Fraser
Why did Osama bin Laden visit Mount Sinai?
He wanted to see the burning Bush.
- Gabriel
The rate at which GSM is being used to "Pose" is embarrassing. You would expect that anyone who carries one is to be able to afford it. In Unilag it is the "in" thing, you are not complete without one especially the ladies.
Ordinarily, there's no problem with this but what trips one most is the, should I say, superficiality, of it all. I mean check out this true life incident.
I walked into a very busy business centre to make a call and as I was waiting, there was a girl there making a call too. Just as she was dialing the numbers, a phone rang and to my surprise the girl who was making the call picked up a mobile phone and answered the call saying Please can you call me back my unit can not dial out.
NAIJA TRANSLATION OF SOME PORPULAR SAYINGS
A rolling stone -> Na person push am
A stitch in time -> Dey avoid futher tear tear
Birds of the same feather -> Na de same mama
One good turn -> Na power steering be dat
A friend in need -> Na long throat kill am
A bird in hand -> Na chops be dat
Submitted By: Onimole
YOU KNOW YOU ARE AN AFRICAN/NIJA IF...
You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapping.
You don't have genuine Tupperware, only use margarine, ice-cream and yoghurt tubs to store food.
You call an older person you've never met before "uncle" or "aunty"
More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies. (Made in Dubai)
Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles from your stays at hotels. (Marriott, etc)
You almost always have excess baggage when travelling by plane.
If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximum quantity possible.
At least one of your cousins has an annoying nickname. (Bobo, Kemo, Orebe, Shege, Femo, etc)
Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit. (Uncle, his wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and house girl have all camped at your house)
You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. (Murray mints, wrappers, and salt-shakers!)
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.
You only make telephone calls and operate your washing machine (which disturbs your neighbours) at night, when the rate is cheaper.
You teach others swear words in your language. (Oloshi, Waka, Ashawo)
You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight. (Yeah, 1st person to fly in the family, that's why)
You keep changing your Internet Service Provider after using up the free first month.
Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home. (Yes ke, Scissors, Biros, Post-its, etc.)
You don't buy a printer because it is cheaper to do it at work.
You wash your car on a Sunday. (Maybe, not really)
You know the best phone card to buy (eg UNITY, BELL, GO BANANA, etc); because you know the ones that have the longest time - at least you should speak to all your children, brothers, sister-in-law, mother, and that your uncle's daughter; who live in your house.
You always lie about the ages of your children so they can avoid paying higher admission fees.
When you were young, your parents bought you clothes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.
At least one of your uncles is a teacher.
You have a 10 Kg bag of rice in your kitchen
You always read the Sport sections of the Sunday newspapers first.
The first week of your first time on internet, access was hectic as you had to check your e-mail everyday to see if your uncle/friend has written from home, and you start checking the web for websites like this- for naija stuffs and jokes.
Throughout your first-four weeks abroad, you have to caution yourself on the way you walk on the road, when you should take the footpaths. Understand? You know how that car nearly hit you when you were walking in the road, and you had forgotten you were no longer in Naija? There are footpaths beside the roads here!
The first time you schooled/worked with an oyinbo, he annoys you and you shout at him. Later he tells everyone you are swearing at him.
Submitted By: Graham Skipps
HOW TO TELL WHAT AREA OF LAGOS A WOMAN IS FROM
You can quickly tell what area of the Lagos Metropolis a woman is from by the way she refers to her first born child:
If she says "my fest pikin" she is from Ajegunle.
The women who live on posh Victoria Island refer to their first born child as "my first issue".
If she says "my child" she is definitely from Allen Avenue in Ikeja.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE FLYING NIGERIA AIRWAYS
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (Boniface) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways.
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.
This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the South. If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits!
For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ... and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
YOU ARE WELCOME ON BOARD!"
Submitted By: Nnamdi
My Story - Naija Man in London
I did not come to England to take pictures of Big Ben or tour London Bridge. I just wanted to get paid and get even with those colonials. With a name like Ogundele Kayode Omobrukutu, I could not even buy a buspass let alone open a bank account.
This is my story...
It took me 6 months to study the system, but I still could not figure out my squares and circus's. I could not travel from Leicester Circus to Oxford Square without getting lost. I was a YMCA (Young Money Chasing African) when I joined the FRAUD (Fine Rich Africans United in Deals).
It took me 3 months to attain my ACCA (Advanced Certificate for Criminal Africans) and I needed an MBA (Major Bank Account) to do my first HND (Heavy Nigerian Deal). I arranged to meet this guy at Animal and Something, I mean Elephant and Castle. We were supposed to meet at 10.00am. I got there at 11.30am and he turned up at 1.30pm. He pulled up in a Mercedes 500SL with a private number plate - 419 ADE.
He was a definite Nigerian, he had it all - leather jacket in summer, air condition on full blast with his roof and windows down whilst smoking cigar and choking on his smoke just to impress me.
Being a fellow Nigerian I was more than impressed. He introduced himself as Adepujo Kunle Babatunde and asked me to call him Ade or Babs. He spoke with a strong Nigerian accent but he messed the whole language up by slanging - he sounded like a Canadian born Chinese living in Germany and studying French. I had not been in the country for long but I could tell that Omo (my man) was trying hard to be British.
After hanging with Ade for about 2 months I became an OBE (Opportunist Bank Employee) and specialised in BBC (Breaking Bank Codes). Money was flowing and I wanted more so I did my PhD (Passport Handling Degree) and became an FBI (Fraudster Bringing Immigrants).
My status changed drastically...., I had a BMW 328is convertible and a Porsche 911 with a private plate - 911 OMO and living in a council flat and signing on.
I went to Moonlighting every Friday and drank champagne and danced to music supplied by DJ Pace and Skills. I became foolish - I remember one night I spent over a 1000 pounds on just champagne at the club and had no money for petrol so I walked home.
My downfall....
Greed and selfishness inevitably led to my downfall - I got involved with a CIA (Cash Investing Agent) and we did a couple of GMTs (Good Money Transfers) but he later turned out to be a CID (Cop in Disguise). I was under surveillance and I did not even know. I left the NHS (Nigerian Housing Scheme) early that morning with about 12 different cheque books to go and do my business.
They followed me unto the high road and it was then it hit me that something was wrong. I could not leave all that evidence in my car so I started chewing my cheque books. I ate 8 before they pulled me over. P>They read me my rights and all that crap and all I could say was - OGA WATER!!!! PLEEAASE WATER!!!
Submitted By: Enitan Okusolubo
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